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December 12, 2012 / edwardonbebop

Piercings, tattoos, scars: self-mutilation ?

Le même (plus ou moins) en Français.

 

No, this is not a “how-to” guide. Just a collection of reflections I have had of late.

It started with a sudden desire to have a new piercing. Without having decided where, I wanted a new one. So badly.

Instead of rushing to a piercing studio, I stopped for a while and took the time to think about that sudden urge. Why ? What caused me to feel that desire ?

I had to look back to the past to find a clue. I already have one piercing (right eyebrow). What made me have it ?

I was about 18 years old and I just got dumped (the word is actually well chosen) by my first girlfriend. I was in a really bad mental condition. At that time I needed to do something for myself. Like self-affirmation. The idea of having a piercing had already occurred to me several times before that but I never made the step.

Having no risk disappointing anyone with my physical appearance, I wanted something visible, something that tells: “I have suffered” or “I am suffering”. Because I was never taught how to speak my emotions, the piercing was a way to make a link between my damaged soul and the physical word. I can see that like: “My soul hurts, so I need to feel physical pain to communicate the suffering to the outside world.”

Here I had a first clue for the answer to “Why do I want a piercing ?”. By comparison of my recent experiences, I think that my new desire originated from the same causes: trying to express an unspeakable suffering.

That reflection also made me understand why I liked piercings and tattoos so much. I see them as scars from the soul displayed on the body. So I see pierced or/and tattooed people as human beings whose bodies are telling a story. Maybe in their cases the story is not pain or suffering, but they tell something. I see stories, beautiful bodies (and I find it sexy), things that stir up my imagination.

I haven’t had any new piercing for the moment. For one time, understanding why I wanted one so much lifted my desire. But now it has come back. I think I will do it anyway, although I don’t know yet where it will be. Probably nowhere near the face I guess.

8 Comments

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  1. leeniedevinity / Aug 16 2016 10:51 pm

    The primary character in next novel I’m planning is a collector of tattoos, for the reasons you describe. I’ve been thinking of getting a tattoo, which would be my first (and possibly last) … for the sole purpose of experiencing it, and enabling me to describe the process.

    Now as for piercings … I never even had my ears pierced.🙂

    • edwardonbebop / Aug 17 2016 8:55 am

      I abandoned the idea of tattoo. I find them nice but only on other people. I don’t like the idea of wearing something for the rest of my life. I am a person in continuous movement (even if that movement is sometimes slow). That is why I prefer piercings: I can take them off when I want.

      What kind of tattoo would you like to have ? I am curious !🙂

      • leeniedevinity / Aug 17 2016 1:42 pm

        The “permanence” of tattoos has always been off-putting to me, as well. I’m thinking something unobtrusive, something that would only be visible during warm seasons … maybe an ivy anklet, in green, or something like that. Something nature-y.🙂

      • edwardonbebop / Aug 17 2016 1:49 pm

        I think ivy anklet is a good choice. I would be curious to see the result !

        Is that already a project of yours or is it still a desire or a whish ?

      • leeniedevinity / Aug 17 2016 2:02 pm

        I have a file on my computer with some notes on the project … which I’ll start on if ever I complete my current novel.🙂

      • edwardonbebop / Aug 17 2016 2:31 pm

        Whatever the tattoos, you *have to* complete your current novel !
        Have you made good progress in this work in progress ?

  2. leeniedevinity / Aug 17 2016 2:40 pm

    It is moving, but incrementally … about the speed of evolution, it seems sometimes.😀

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