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April 3, 2017 / edwardonbebop

Oud

I have two sides and they’re not friend.

My left side hurt.
It keeps me from moving
Slows my pace.
I would rather leave it behind
For the pain is constantly present.
Maybe I don’t want it to to leave.
Maybe I need it to live.
Maybe I don’t want it to.
Maybe I need it too.
Maybe, maybe, maybe
And how would I know ?

It always comes back.
It feels like the burn sun on my skin
With red marks that hurt.
It takes the shape of various people
With clothes sometimes dark sometimes colorful.
It sounds like words spoken in Arabic
With an accent that sings and brings me back in time.
It smells like my grandmother’s perfume
With a scent that cannot be forgotten.
It tastes like almond paste in dates
With a fragment of a walnut on top.

It is music.

That oud plays a music that has its roots
Not far from where mine used to grow.
Deeply anchored in my past
Reaching me in the days present.

It is a part of my living past.
It is a part of my dying present.
It is the bright conflict that I cannot deem right.
It is the black hole that absorbs all that is left.
The music reconciles both parts of me.
And it hurts so I cry.

It speaks to me.
It has found the words
That my father could not
Or did not mind
To speak.

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9 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. leeniedevinity / Apr 4 2017 9:47 pm

    With a couple of minor changes (typos, I’m sure), this is brilliant.

    • edwardonbebop / Apr 5 2017 7:52 am

      Typos are very likely, I was so tired that night but wanted to “finish” it.
      I may edit that one in the future.
      🙂

      In the meantime I will proof read it and try to detect my mistakes.
      Thank you for your comment.

    • edwardonbebop / Apr 5 2017 11:19 am

      May I bother you and help me find the typos ? Maybe there are rather proof of my limited vocabulary than actual typos (maybe they are typos as well ?).

    • edwardonbebop / Apr 5 2017 11:35 am

      Oh, I found one for instance:
      “My left side hurt.
      It keeps me from moving”
      Conjugation, Adrien ! Conjugation.
      This is interesting as I actually don’t know whether I should chose “hurt” or “hurts” and how this could impact the rest of the stanza and the text.

  2. niccihaydon / Apr 5 2017 10:33 am

    I quite liked the “typos”, there was nothing that I thought was wrong, just places where it forced me to stop and think, and that can be a wonderful thing. I love the rhythm in the 5th stanza and the line endings throughout that section: roots, grow, past, present, past, present, right, left.

    • edwardonbebop / Apr 5 2017 11:25 am

      May I ask where you had to stop ?
      While writing, I struggled with words in the paragraph
      “It is a part of my living past.
      It is a part of my dying present.
      It is the bright conflict that I cannot deem right.
      It is the black hole that absorbs all that is left.”
      Some things felt “forced”.

      Thank you for your feedback anyway Nicci !
      🙂

      • niccihaydon / Apr 5 2017 12:33 pm

        Friend, hurt and burn sun I think. But really, I liked it. The great thing with poetry is, you’re allowed to play with the language. What one person thinks is a mistake could in fact be there by design. Like I said, it made me stop, and that’s no bad thing 🙂

        That bit that you’ve highlighted; no, I loved it! Didn’t feel forced at all.

  3. edwardonbebop / Apr 5 2017 11:23 am

    As a side-note: I wrote this with Oud music in my ears.
    I really tried to stick to the feeling coming out of the music.

    • edwardonbebop / Apr 5 2017 11:40 am

      Things I should re-consider (maybe):
      “” My left side hurt.
      It keeps me from moving “”

      “” It feels like the burn sun on my skin “”

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