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April 12, 2017 / edwardonbebop

No Name

My worst enemy is here again,
I do not even know its face nor its name.

Highs and lows, nothing in between.
I have to go out of the bubble of my ego
But my enemy has already cut every issues.

Oh, yes he took good care of preparing its assault.
Here I am, trapped inside of me.

So I keep punching and kicking at the walls.
In hope that a wall breaks, I go on.
In hope that even one tiny word escapes, I go on.
In hope that something happens, I go on.

I am not reaching out for outside help.
I am reaching out to find that piece of me
That is the only thing that can save me.

These words are not creativity,
They are just.

They are just the only thing I can do.
Stating the obvious.

This could go on and on and nothing would change,
As long as I cannot reach out of that ego bubble.
Is it ego or emotions ?
Maybe they are the same.
In the end.

My enemy is everywhere,
has many faces with no name.
How can I face it ?



Leave a Comment
  1. leeniedevinity / Apr 12 2017 1:32 pm

    You are … and wonderfully.

    • edwardonbebop / Apr 12 2017 8:02 pm

      Thank you. That one was hard to get out. Especially today.

  2. leeniedevinity / Apr 12 2017 9:31 pm

    Why “especially today?” (Don’t feel obliged top answer.)

    • edwardonbebop / Apr 13 2017 8:32 am

      Depression kicked in again yesterday. I was writing that while I was in that bad state of mind.

      • leeniedevinity / Apr 13 2017 1:06 pm

        That was my assumption, though I wondered if you might have been referring to something external, like a death in the family. Hang in there. You can always know that I’ll be listening.

      • edwardonbebop / Apr 13 2017 2:25 pm

        Nothing external, no.
        I know you are willing to help and I thank you for that.
        For now it is really a feeling of complete loss, lack of point of reference. That is why I feel in a bubble.

        I may find more about this after a few session with my shrink. Hopefully.

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